The Live talk was followed by a Recording at 10am (GMT) on Wednesday 5th March.
Tying the knot: the folklore of marriage
An interesting talk outlining wedding customs many that we know of today and a few not so common traditions. Plus, the folklore behind why our ancestors observed these nuptial customs that we still do today.
Mark started by saying that he would be focusing on the folklore of the Wedding Day. Marriage is possibly the most important event of life; for those of us that marry and whilst many nuptial customs are common all over the country, he would also touch on a couple of the many regional customs of which little is known outside of their local areas.
Most of the main marriage customs we observe today have their origins in ancient times and may be traced back before church weddings to Roman times and beyond.
Brides Promising to obey husbands and being Given away by her father. At first, marriages were contracts and a woman merely a chattel to be passed from her father to her husband. Both customs were once part of the church service until the 20th century, and now only if requested.
Some traditions have their roots in fertility such as the blessing of the wedding bed which was common in the Middle Ages, to ensure a successful conception. The couple being showered with nuts and seeds, were also symbols of fertility, now passed down to us as confetti.
Whilst other traditions stem from the almost neurotic belief during the Mediaeval period that demons, devils, and the evil-eye were lurking ready to bring the couple bad luck. Hence a bride was veiled to conceal her identity and she had several attendants or bridesmaids dressed similar to her to make her less obvious to any malevolent sprit. Numerous bridesmaids may also have arisen from Roman weddings which required ten witnesses!
Carrying over the threshold - has its origins in the belief that demons were waiting around a doorway and that the husband would protect his bride by not allowing her to come in contact with the lintel or doorstep. It also saved the bride from tripping up on the doorstep which would have been deemed as very bad luck at the start of a new marriage.
Bells –were originally rung to scare away anything evil. Mark said in France it is traditional to make as much noise as possible to scare away demons.
Bestman – the groom’s close friend, with sword in hand. He was charged with protecting the groom, as a sort of bodyguard, by defending the groom from anyone who might come to claim the bride, including her angry family. Especially when marriable females were in short supply.
Swords – exchanging swords is one tradition not carried out nowadays. It came from Saxon times when the Bride was given a sword by the Groom to keep for their first son and she gave her new husband a sword with which to protect her.
Calling the Banns – sometimes called a Proclamation as they were proclaimed from the pulpit on 3 consecutive Sundays leading up to the wedding day. Essentially it was to allow people to make a legal protest about why the wedding should not go ahead; such as a previous marriage not having been annulled or the couple being too closely related etc. If the wedding did not go ahead the couple could be fined. The Roman Catholic church banished the calling of Banns in the 20th century but it is still a requirement of the Anglican church.
Porch Weddings – took place mostly before the advent of Banns. So that the local community could see and object on any legality they might know about, couples would be married in publicly in the church porch. Marriages of Kings needed to be seen by their subjects. After the porch the immediate wedding party went into the church or cathedral for the wedding to be sanctified.
Fleet Marriages – clandestine marriages, so called as they took place in or outside of the Fleet Prison. An unscrupulous priest (often an inmate of the Fleet) would, for a fee, marry a couple and thus enable them to avoid some of the legalities that should have been observed.
Smock Weddings – the bride arrived at her wedding either wearing a smock (loose underdress) or completely naked. Her dress, or lack of one, was to declare that her new husband was not liable for any debts outstanding from any previous union.
Bridal Gown - white was a sign of purity although sometimes blue was used to represent the Virgin Mary. Although, many brides would not have been able to afford a special dress for the occasion and they would have worn the best dress they owned regardless of the colour.
Flowers - Mark went through some of the 'language of flowers' to suggested why some were used in the brides bouquet. Myrtle was very popular in the past with many brides planting a piece of the myrtle used in their bouquet in their gardens.
Throwing the Bouquet - Tradition says whoever, catches it is the next to marry. Mark thought this custom might have arisen to prevent another tradition that was getting out of hand. In some countries a Brides wedding dress was given to a friend as it was a symbol of fertility especially if the bride had conceived. But women started chasing the bride to tear off a part of her wedding dress and throwing the bouquet may have been an attempt to stop the previous more forceful tradition.
Wedding crowns – many modern brides wear tiaras but once a Wedding crown was worn. One was often kept in the parish church for brides who were not able to acquire their own.
Rings – were symbols of a binding contract. Mark described a variety of rings. But said that poorer brides might never own a wedding ring and one of straw was often their substitute. The particular finger comes from the Romans who thought there was a vein which went straight to the heart from the 4th finger of the left hand.
Hand fasting &Troth plight–an Old Norse custom of sealing a bargain. It continues today in some church weddings when the priest wraps his stole around the joined hands of the bride and groom saying “Those whom God has joined together let no man put asunder!”
Kissing the Bride – a symbol of two becoming one as it was thought that souls were joined.
Many more traditions were covered in the talk. Mark suggested the following books for anyone wanting explore this fascinating subject further
- 'Days and Rites: popular Customs of the Church' by Mark Lewis
- 'The Folklore and Customs of Love and Marriage' by Margaret Baker
Report by Tricia Baxter