Peter Ewart gave us an intriguing talk about the possible skeletons we might uncover when researching our family trees. Often, our first course of action is to talk to our older relatives who may still be able
to remember past generations and shed light on previous relationships. However, some family stories may have only been whispered about and, if our older relatives were only children at the time, certain things may not have been mentioned to them at all.
Over the course of time, attitudes and values have changed and generally we have become more open to different lifestyle choices. Family historians may not have any hang-ups but other people may still feel sensitive about certain things their family members may have done. There may be family stories of someone who was slightly odd – perhaps eccentric, mentally ill, drunk, violent or having served a prison sentence; there may be a stigma about having a criminal record. Illegitimacy has much less stigma today but was often not discussed in the past and could bring great disgrace on an individual (usually a woman) or a whole family. Marital discord may have led to unhappiness, separation, divorce (which was less available in the past, especially to poorer people) and ‘living in sin’. Suicide was often kept quiet and not spoken about within the family but the only surviving records may be in newspapers, such as Coroners’ Inquests. Immorality and sexual orientation may also not have been discussed but with the decriminalisation of homosexuality in 1967, attitudes started to change and are more openly talked of today.
Peter gave us many examples from his own family and other research he had undertaken. Peter found that at least one male in his family for seven generations had spent some time in prison, often for something as seemingly trivial as missing a day from agricultural labour when his relative had been hired from a hiring fair. There were many reasons why a relative may have been imprisoned including desertion of a wife and children, one’s faith and conscientious objection amongst others; poverty often led to theft and prison sentences, or worse, followed.
Relationships between husbands and wives were often kept secret behind closed doors. It was not uncommon for husbands to be drunk and/or violent and as divorces were generally out of the question, the only option for most women was to get a separation. Often family memories were very long and people remembered cruelty of a family member towards their womenfolk. There was also much ignorance about mental illness in the past, with little understanding of many conditions, including, for example, depression and epilepsy and people were often incarcerated in mental asylums for their whole lives. Peter said that these were some of the most distressing cases he had seen whilst researching family history. DNA may now give us revelatory links to family members that people never knew about and may reveal surprise adoptions and relationships that occurred before marriage or through adultery. Peter left us with a light-hearted comment about some information he’d discovered for a client but I won’t spoil it for him if he uses this at his next talk!
Report by Lesley Smith, Secretary of Deal Branch, Kent FHS